The First Time I Realised I Was Comfortable Being Alone While Travelling

By the time I went to Valletta, Malta, for my birthday in 2023, traveling solo wasn't new to me. I'd already taken many trips on my own. From navigating airports, planned itineraries, I learned how to move through unfamiliar places without company. 

But this time it felt different. Just ... comfortable. 

I was sitting at a small restaurant overlooking the sea by the ferry point, the sky slowly changing colour as the sun began to set. I was waiting for my seafood dinner and enjoying a cheap and tasty glass of wine. For the first time, I didn't need to fill the time, not pretend I'm checking my phone, no sense of urgency. Just the quiet hum of conversation around me in the half-empty restaurant and the sound of the water. 

I was simply there.

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For a long time, as an introvert, the easiest way to cope was to have a packed itinerary, filling every hour. Treating stillness like wasted time. Moving quickly so the silence wouldn't catch up with me. 

But sitting in that restaurant, I realised something had shifted and that silence was comforting. 

I wasn't trying to make the moment meaningful or documenting it (okay I had to that the obligatory food and sunset view photo oops). 

What surprised me the most as I am recalling this moment, is how ordinary it felt. No need to explain myself, I wasn't checking whether this was the "right" way to spend my birthday. It was just a perfect moment that has changed my outlook. 

I used to explore new cities with my headphones in, music playing as I walked - a familiar habbit, a way to stay in my own world. This year, I noticed something quietly different. The headphones were still in my bag, but I searched for them less and less. 

I started listening to the city instead. 

The sounds of footsteps, conversations I didn't understand, the rythm of a place unfolding around me. Being present stopped feeling exposed and started feeling grounding. 

Travelling solo didn't make me more extroverted or bolder. 

It made me slower. More observant. More honest about what I actually enjoy.

Solo vs friends?

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I still love sharing trips with friends. I enjoy company and it is a different experience, but that afternoon in Valetta changed the way I think about solitude. 

Being alone started feeling like a choice. And that choice followed me on every trip since. Every year I try to do at least one or two trips sol, to pause for reflection, charging my batteries and chasing that inner quietness. 

I didn't know it at the time, but sitting there whilst waiting for dinner, watching the sun dissapear ino the sea, felt like a kind of arrival. 

Not to a destination. 

But to myself.